Hello¡ My name is Adrian, I was born in Aguascalientes, I am 19 years old and I am student of English in the Universidad Autónoma de Aguascalientes but all that is just my general profile but do you know who my family is? In which schools have I studied? And which are my hobbies? Probably you do not know all these things but in the next lines you will know it.
First the most important thing in my life is my family. I live with my parents and with my brother, my mom´s name is Imelda, my dad´s name is Juan and my brother´s name is Juan as dad. I have a good relation with my family. I know that they will always be for me. That is my family and I am happy to have one like that.
Another thing you do not know about me is in which school I have studied. My studies started in kinder garden, then I went to elementary school, its name is José Guadalupe Posada as the famous painter. Then I went to the secondary school and then I went to high school, those were happy times and now I study English language teaching in the UAA.
The last thing you don know about me is: Which my hobbies are? I think that everybody has a hobby and I have mine too. One of the things I like to do the most is to read a good book while having a cup of coffee, to watch a movie I enjoy it too, also I like to play the guitar. Everything I do helps me to spend my free time I really love to practice these hobbies.
I have already told you about my profile, my studies, my family and my hobbies but I have not told you yet something more personal, so I have to tell you that sometimes I am a little bit serious, but when people get to know me I think I am a reliable person and I am always giving advice to people even if they don ask me to. I hope after this you can get to know me better.
hi, just trying.
ResponderEliminarHi Adrian,
ResponderEliminarI think most of your paragraphs need some coherence and punctuation. I couldn't tell which is the thesis statement. Also in the introduction you say: "...probably you do not know..." but in the later paragraphs you affirm the reader doesn't know. "...which my hobbies are?..." no need for the question mark here. You describe the members of your family but you don't really say what type of family they are so that the final sentence of the paragraph makes sense and you can probably rephrase the first two lines in that paragraph so that you don't mention the word "name" those many times. The conclusion is a little confusing because you are introducing new information instead of just summarizing your whole idea. Overall, you shared interesting information and I am sure that we know you better now.